Almost every single woman in America is in search of a good man but it is a search that many women ultimately find arduous as well as incredibly draining. Some women have even professed that a good man doesn’t exist but allow the battle to rage on in their minds and thoughts. Well as a woman who has probably uttered the same thing on more than one occasion, I am here to let you know that they do exist. He will come into your life at a time when you least expect it but the key is you have to be open to it and not looking for it. I am fully aware that “not looking” can be a battle too because your need for companionship and the effects of empty relationships cause havoc in your minds and hearts. Also some women do allow loneliness to begin to effect their self-esteem, they wonder about their worth, and even begin to feel hopeless. I have been there but today I AM CHANGED. Not solely because of a good man but because I stop thinking, stop wondering and just started living. I didn’t focus anymore on what I didn’t have but what I had in my life. I looked around and saw all these amazing women and men who love me, cherish me, and appreciate me just as I am. I completely let go of my past relationship and no longer held on to him just to have someone. I came to a place where I knew that I didn’t just need this or want this but I deserved it. I deserved to live in contentment about my relationships and I owed it to myself to find peace in being single.
Months went by with my new attitude and frame of mind and just like that….I realized my good man was in my life. What is even funnier is that he had been there all along. To be completely honest, I didn’t recognize how big of a role he played in helping me become content but he did. He didn’t come into my life in the form of a boyfriend or a lover but he came to me as a friend. He came along to show me how I should be treated, the way I should be spoken to, and most importantly, he showed me I could trust. I always hear people say that trust is so important in a relationship and I never really understood that completely until now. I love that I can trust him to do what he says he is going to do. Unlike other men who talk a good game and say all the right things, he actually does them without saying. He doesn’t tell me I am beautiful everyday, he makes me feel beautiful. He doesn’t tell me that he loves me all the time but he shows me that he does. He doesn’t tell me how much he cares but he cares for me like no other. He has been one of the biggest blessings of my life and I am truly thankful.
It is something about having a good man in your life that changes you. It relieves that anxiety women often feel because they are no longer wondering how he feels, will he call when he says he will, or will he remember to do what he said he was going to do? I don’t have those worries anymore because I trust him and he has shown me that he truly cares about me. When I sense myself even slightly falling back into those old patterns of thinking, I remind myself that I am not there anymore and this sense of security falls over me. I feel secure because I reflect on how I have felt because of his actions and more importantly because I know at the end of the day how I feel about me is what really matters. Still it feels good that now my relationships are finally easy because one person taught me so much. We rarely argue because I can’t even feel anger towards someone who does so much right. I mean no one is perfect but he is the closest thing I have met to perfection and it is all in the way that he makes me feel. Also what I have learned is everyone needs different things, you can’t have it all, and you have to stand firm on the things that you can’t live without.
I swear as soon as I knew what I had then there was a trickling effect of good men everywhere. When one good man came into my life and I knew what he felt like and acted like, here came another good man and another and another. It is to the point where now I am surrounded by good men in my life. I am still single technically but my heart will always have a place for the one who helped to forever change me. As the days go on, I become even more thankful for his friendship, his time, and his companionship. No matter what happens between us, we will be friends for life and he will always be the person who helped me set the bar higher.
Also if you must entertain foolery to get your needs met while waiting for that GOOD MAN, then limited the interaction and do it with no attachment and expectations. The best things to do are sacrifice foolery all together and remain patient for what is truly meant for you. These days I am living mostly by the latter because why settle for someone who doesn’t see all that you are worth. Why allow yourself to become empty for momentary moments of bliss?
So I want my women out there searching to stop and start your journey to contentment. I am living proof that good men do exist and they are out there waiting to show you what you deserve. You have to do what must be done first and that means you have got to find peace with being single and stop looking. Once you do that, your GOOD MAN will find you. TRUST ME….from one single woman to another, there is power in a GOOD MAN.
Cristi Dianne
